NO, this is not another political post (I promised NO MORE of those). This is about My Dad’s Birthday; and I posted it here so others can appreciate and perhaps comment on the occasion.
If you have the nerve, please write a comment at the end! I’ll make sure he gets it, if not “Gets it” (he is 90, after all).
RAY HARRIS is 90!!!
Let THAT roll around on your tongue. Then spit and wash your mouth out with soap.
A MOMENTOUS occasion; one that has me thinking about all the things in the world that are also 90. And even how some things that aren’t YET 90 might appear when they get to that rarified place.
Unfair, I know, to measure the rest of the world by Ray’s Yardstick (has to be a “Yardstick,”, he never would go metric). Dad is much too proud to approve of such comparisons, but I think it might piss him off, so here we go!
First of all, There is Ray Himself. He has gotten more and more debonair and sophisticated as time has marched on. He exemplifies the strategy to grow oldER but never grow old. Or grow up, for that matter.
One story about his Pan-like joie de vivre:
When I brought my future bride home to meet the fambly for the first time (a pretty scary, high stress event, I think everyone who knows Ray and even if you don’t, would agree), Ray pulled out ALL the stops to make her feel welcome. He dressed in a Gorilla Suit, along with the rest of my family, and awaited our arrival at the airport gate. (Liz married me anyway, though I wonder to this day WHY?!)
As if that wasn’t enuf, DAD in particular was spending his waiting-time (our flite was delayed) SCARING RANDOM CHILDREN in the concourse. It was another era (pre-911). Never mind you cannot wait at an actual GATE today; if you tried to pass thru security in a gorilla suit, you would be celebrating 90 in Guantanamo.
There are a few other notable things that turn 90 this year. None with the grace and omniscience as Ray, of course, but context IS imPOtent [sic].
The GREAT DEPRESSION began in 1929. How many of us can state that the world’s financial system – nay the WHOLE WORLD – melted down upon news of one’s birth? Note that the word “Depression” was used, not “Elation.”
Other people WERE born (and might therefore have been responsible): Dr. Martin Luther King, Jackie Bouvier Kennedy Onassis, Barbara Walters. Bob Newhart. Ed Asner. Imelda Marcos. Popeye.
After reflecting upon that list, we’re going with DAD as the reason.
Can it be a coincidence that Clint Eastwood was born a year later…to clean up the mess? (Dad used to have hair like that. AFAIK, not a .44 Magnum).
Patents were issued for WORLD-CHANGING devices and products: The Eyelash Curler, Freon for refrigeration, Tampons, and FLASH FROZEN FOOD. 7-UP was invented in 1929. The Dusenburg was “The Bomb” ride. The Vatican gained independence from Italy. A bunch of Gangsters were massacred in Chicago (possibly not related to that newly-independent nation-state).
NONE OF THESE as imPOtent as RAY HARRIS.
The world at large has many examples of things that have exceeded the rarified air of 90. Some have grown up. Some have grown old. Some decrepit. Some prove that age is relative.
For example, many believe that Albert Einstein died in 1955 at the age of 76. In fact, the father of Relativity has been aging backwards, which anyone who approaches the speed of light can do. He is STILL alive, passing 90 years ago.
Ray, who’s forward progress is observed frequently (when he is moving at all) at DECIDEDLY not-light-speed, will NOT be aging backwards!
Some things are not yet 90, but with the wisdom and vision ONLY present in the person of a direct descendant of RAY HARRIS, (i.e. a person swimming in the shallow end of the gene pool), I can PREDICT what these will look like…
Helen, will look just as she does now when she is 90, because everyone knows women do not age past 39.
Amery will age, as dogs doo [sic]. Best guess:
Dad actually HAS aged well…perhaps a little TOO well…
He is not even yet retired…which is because he never had a job in his whole life (as he so often states).
No, he spent an entire career, and is still working FOR no one except all of us, to make the world a better place.
After much negotiation and bipartisan wrangling, we all agreed to hope he has MANY MORE (though the government had to be shut down several times before we could get that most controversial resolution passed).
This will age us beyond our years, but not Dad since at his advanced age that is hardly possible!
Dad, your HERO and instigator of breakfast philosophy (Green Eggs and Ham), Dr. Seuss, implores you from beyond the grave, where he is peacefully enjoying your lack of presence:
Today you are you! That is truer than true!
There is no one alive who is you-er than you!
(See this post at http://www.arewewhereyet.us/musing/ray-harris-is-90-25-march-2019/)