Vintage BlueBird(Brain) Rally!

As mentioned, we hosted a collection of our Blue Bird friends for the inaugural Vintage Birds Chicago Rally. A Rally is like a convention…it’s a gathering of at LEAST 2 Blue Birds in a place, for the purpose of enjoying that place and each other’s company. 

• Rally’s can be informal – for example, 2 Birds coincidentally finding themselves in a Walmart parking lot for the evening.
  (It is unclear whether 2 Birds in the same mechanic shop constitutes a “Rally,” though misery DOES love company!)
• Some rallies are WAY MORE FORMAL, such as the annual “Wander Lodge Owners Group rally” in Pine Mountain Georgia where over 150 Blue Birds gather to learn, fix, eat, drink and be merry.

Turns out the concept of a Chicago rally was a bit of a hard sell … after all, news reports portray Chicago as a dangerous battlefield, full of urban decay and 24×7 danger. We KNOW this to be wrong on the face of it, but it’s hard to convince people who see only exaggerated – sometime even FAKE – reports on TV. 

Of course, there ARE places and situations in Chicago one should not wander in…such as near Sox Park wearing a Cubs Jersey or Soldiers Field wearing a Packers Cheese Head, or at 2:00AM in the alley after leaving a bar. I think that’s true in a city of ANY size.  Realistically, I cannot even remember the last time I wanted to, nevermind did walk in an alley at 2:00AM! Or wear a cheese head! !!! There is crime in all the forms in Chicago (you can find crime anywhere, and use it as an excuse to never get out of bed).

The “News” reports rarely mention that at least a million people a day manage to get to work, school and baseball games without violence!! Liz and I would not – do not and indeed DID NOT hesitate to eat drink and be merry in Chicago.

In the end, we had 2 Brave Birds and their associated Blue Bird Brains in addition to the Shillings and us, turn up for the rally. We had a FABULOUS time… during a glorious week of great weather, OUTSTANDING food, cultural experiences, sporting events, etc.

Here were SOME of the activities we actually PLANNED for the Rally:

Chicago Architecture Society River Architecture Tour. The Chicago River is fundamental to the entire history of what the city has become. It’s the reason there is a city at all…arguably the City’s greatest growth occurred after the engineering feat of reversing the river’s flow (to send Chicago’s sewage to St, Louis instead of into the City’s drinking water…Lake Michigan). The Architecture Society does an awesome tour…and even for 40-yr Chicago residents, new buildings and associated engineering feats abound for discussion.

Museum of Science and Industry, Including a tour of the U-505 – a captured German WWII submarine. This museum is always interesting – new exhibits mixed in with old favorites for residents. The story of the submarine — and antisubmarine — war effort, how the sub was captured, and then relocated…first to Chicago and finally to the Museum’s new subterranean exhibit hall… fascinating! And, they’ve renamed the museum after a LARGE benefactor…but much like the Sears (nee Willis) Tower and Sox (nee “Guaranteed Rate”) Park, no one will ever use the altered names.

Tour of Frank Lloyd Wright’s Home and Studio in Oak Park, as well as a guided walking tour of the surrounding, where there are MANY examples of his work. Oak Park also served up a healthy dose of Cicadas for our listening pleasure!

Chicago Pizza and Hot Dogs and Italian Beef and Italian Ice

(and a visit to an old-fashioned Italian Grocery). The rally leaders had a little lesson about Chicago customs…such as NEVER EVER ask for ketchup on a Hot Dog!!! At the hot dog stand Gary took us to, in fact, no ketchup is available AT ALL.

There is a McDonalds next door, where they will sell you ketchup packets for those who insist…just tell them it’s for the fries, or you might be run out of town!

Baseball at Wrigley Field (complete with another Chicago Hot Dog AND a Cubs Loss…wait ‘til next year!!!). We took the train to the ballpark and bought some of the few remaining tickets. These were in the very last row of the upper deck, which the group generally agreed were FINE seats for the occasion.

In fact, I also pointed out so no one would miss the auspiciousness of the moment: The seats were like none one could experience in virtually ANY OTHER BALLPARK…they were OBSTRUCTED VIEW seats!!!! For some, the obstruction was covering the Home Plate area, which caused little interference with our enjoyment, as Cubs baserunners do not use that area often.

Rosa’s Lounge Blues Club. This small, west-side club has been around since I first arrived in Chicago in 1980. It was a Thursday Night, so superstars NOT in the house, but an energetic ensemble was!

Not much has changed with the ambiance, either.

I felt it was imPOtent to prepare the Rally Attendees for the full-on Blues Experience in which they were about to partake, so I circulated the following “Rules of The Blues:”

Attributed to “Memphis Earlene (aka Judith Podell)”

1. Most Blues begin, “Woke up this morning…”

2. “I got a good woman” is a bad way to begin the Blues, unless you stick something nasty in the next line like, “I got a good woman, with the meanest face in town.”

3. The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes… sort of: “Got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Yes, I got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher, and she weigh 500 pound.”

4. The Blues is not about choice. You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch–ain’t no way out.

5. Blues cars: Chevys, Fords, Cadillacs and broken-down trucks. Blues don’t travel in Volvos, BMWs, or Sport Utility Vehicles. Most Blues transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Jet aircraft and company motor pools ain’t even in the running. Walkin’ plays a major part in the blues lifestyle. So does fixin’ to die.

6. Teenagers can’t sing the Blues. They ain’t fixin’ to die yet. Adults sing the Blues. In Blues, “adulthood” means being old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.

7. Blues can take place in New York City but not in Hawaii or any place in Canada. Hard times in Minneapolis or Seattle is probably just clinical depression. Chicago, St. Louis, and Kansas City are still the best places to have the Blues. You cannot have the blues in any place that don’t get rain.

8. A man with male pattern baldness ain’t the blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg cause you were skiing is not the blues. Breaking your leg ’cause a alligator be chompin’ on it is.

9. You can’t have no Blues in a office or a shopping mall. The lighting is wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.

10. Good places for the Blues: a. Highway b. Jailhouse c. An empty bed d. Bottom of a whiskey glass

11. Bad places for the Blues: a. Nordstrom’s b. Gallery openings c. Ivy league institutions d. Golf courses

12. No one will believe it’s the Blues if you wear a suit, ‘less you happen to be a old ethnic person, and you slept in it.

13. You have the right to sing the Blues if: a. You older than dirt b. You blind c. You shot a man in Memphis d . You can’t be satisfied

14. You don’t have the right to sing the Blues if: a. You have all your teeth b. You were once blind but now can see c. The man in Memphis lived d. You have a pension fund

15. Blues is not a matter of color. It’s a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the blues. Sonny Liston could. Ugly white people also got a leg up on the blues.

16. If you ask for water and your darlin’ give you gasoline, it’s the Blues

17. Other acceptable Blues beverages are: a. Cheap wine b. Whiskey or bourbon c. Muddy water d. Nasty black coffee

18. The following are NOT Blues beverages: a. Perrier b. Chardonnay c. Snapple d. Slim Fast

19. If death occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it’s a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So is the electric chair, substance abuse and dying lonely on a broke-down cot. You can’t have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or while getting liposuction.

20. Some Blues names for women: a. Sadie b. Big Mama c. Bessie d. Fat River Dumpling

21. Some Blues names for men: a. Joe b. Willie c. Little Willie d. Big Willie

22. Persons with names like Michelle, Amber, Debbie, and Heather can’t sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.

23. Make your own Blues name Starter Kit: a. name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc.) b. first name (see above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Melon, Kiwi, etc.) c. last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.) For example: Blind Lime Jefferson, Jackleg Lemon Johnson or Cripple Kiwi Fillmore, etc. (Well, maybe not “Kiwi.”)

24. I don’t care how tragic your life: if you own even one computer, you cannot sing the blues.

I PROPOSED a picnic in Millenium Park for the Gospel Music Festival on the Saturday, but of course that was the one rainy day. In retrospect, it occurs to me that for at least the past 20 years, it has ALWAYS rained on the Saturday of Gospel Fest…wouldn’t you think that festival of all of the festivals SHOULD have the connections to ensure great weather? Anyway, the Rally adapted…the Field Museum was very close to Rally Central and is a gr8 rainy-day destination!

Then there were the UNPLANNED activities…

The group decided that we needed to Reprise the Chicago Pizza and Hot Dog experience. This is likely because of their deliciousness, but may have had something to do with the disagreement (which nearly but never came to blows!) between Gary and Molly and Liz and myself on “the best.” That’s a subject that can NEVER be fully settled in any group of Chicagoans!! Anyway, Our first pass took us to the Harris’ favorite Pizza Place (Ginos East) and the Shillings’ favorite Hot Dog Stand (Gene and Jude’s). Switching favorites,

This time, we went to the Shillings’ fav — Lou Malnati’s — for pizza and the The Hari’s fav — Wiener’s Circle — for Hot Dogs. I think the group is STILL non-committal about “the best,” committing ONLY to further research!

We did a bit of Subway and Elevated Train Touring…using as a destination Wandering thru the Harrises’ old “hood” including a drink at our local watering hole and conversation with our former neighbors AND the workmen refitting our former home for sale.

We also had Cocktails and a Picnic under the highway overpass that ran thru the rally central parking lot – it was raining and this was a very urban, if not urbane shelter! Should we reprise this rally in the future, it will be referred to by its new name: “Birds under the Bridge.”

And, Sometimes, if you are receptive to it, the world hands you the MOST FUN when and where you least expect it!!! As we relaxed after a day of cavorting, Chicago style, our friend, “Wee Wee” the parking lot attendant (you can’t make sh*t like that name up!) Knocked on our door. He said, “You gotta leave!” He made it sound urgent! I asked, “Why,” since this was Thursday and we had paid thru Sunday. He said , “We have an event on Friday…you have to leave!!”

Now, Gary Shilling had been feeding Wee Wee breakfast along with the BlueBirdBrains each morning, so we knew this was not an easy request for him to bring to us. I knew it was serious!

I again mentioned we had paid thru Sunday, and we weren’t going anywhere…I asked him what was this event he was sooo concerned about? Turns out, every year, the Nat’l soccer team of Mexico plays a friendly (which is what they call an exhibition game) in Soldier Field…this year against Bolivia…and we were parked squarely in the middle of the Tailgating lot!!!! Wee Wee said he was concerned about the behavior of the (likely intoxicated) fans towards us. I, however, suspected, when I saw the parking signs he had put out for the event, that it was really about the $50/car…and we were taking up about 15 car-spaces for our rally. Well, we said we are still not leaving, having already paid for those spots for those days, so we needed to find a solution.

To allay his fears about our safety, I ASSURED him we would be happy to root for Mexico, if that would help. He said, no…it was the drunken wheelies and donuts that would likely be happening among the vehicles. Damage could result! I came to believe that this, and NOT the $$$$$ was their real concern. Wee Wee (and now his boss, James, who had gotten involved in the discussion) did not want us to be in the middle of that…but neither could they throw us out…we had paid for, and were owed parking!!! James decided he could move us a little bit south in the lot, so that we’d be kinda in the corner, away from the crazies and the vehicle route thru/into/out of the lot. We happily accommodated.

Anyway, as it turns out, the fans were TOTALLY respectful, and even downright hospitable!! We were offered delicious Tacos and Tequila (and a weird “Chelada” drink) from groups all around us, as well as apologies for the noise and craziness. We told everyone we LIKED the craziness…and played our Blue Bird horns (tho none of us had any Mexican songs available).

Given a choice, I would be GLAD to again be in Chicago during next year’s friendly, and just as glad to skip the Chelada!

And, speaking of parking management, our nightly rate got us in and out privileges and a fancy bar code that was supposed to open the gate. The codes never worked; in fact, the manager later laughed at the fact that we even THOT they might work!!! Chicago may be (have been) the “City that Works,” but not their parking lots, apparently!!! He said not to worry…there is always someone in the booth (24×7). Often we’d have to honk – I suspect that “someone” was usually sleeping in the booth…

A note for Memphis Earlene… Day Sleeping (and drinking!) is also a very Blues Thing to do!! And, while we are at it, I think we can and must add “Wee Wee” to the list of BLUES NAMES.

We left Chicago for a place that is as far from Chicago as it is possible to be in every way: Size, population, politics, religion. Shipshewana, Indiana…in the heart of Amish Country, for more Blue Bird Rally Fun (next post!)