Who knew there was SMUT in Iowa!

Ideal and Covid-Safe Parking Spot

While we were parked on a beautiful concrete pad next to the Florer’s barn, I decided to take a crack at repairing a worsening Air leak under the bus.

As you may remember from previous posts, many important functions of RV WHERE YET are operated by compressed air. For example, the Extendable step outside the door uses an air piston; and of course there is the AIR HORN. These are imPOtent to our life style; never mind the AIR BRAKES and the AIR SUSPENSION. So, when the bus can be heard very clearly pissing air, it’s a problem that will need to be addressed, hopefully before we are stranded on the roadside.

I used a wheeled creeper (Steve had one, though I also carry one with us!) to move around under the bus, listening for pissing. Fortunately, the older buses like ours have enuf clearance for such creeping without needing to jack anything up. The Florer’s Bluebird is MUCH newer, and you could NEVER get under it while it is on the ground. Anyway, I quickly identified a pissing 40-year-old valve assembly designed to pass air to Accessories ONLY after a certain PSI has built up – the purpose is to save air for the brakes if there is a leak. So far, the engine compressor was keeping up with the leak, which is why I wasn’t making this examination on the shoulder somewhere. But air leaks ALWAYS progress in a negative direction.

I was able to easily extricate the valve, and learned that it was a pretty common item. But NOT common enuf that anyone in Des Moines had one in stock. One place, on the diagonally opposite corner of the metroplex claimed they had one, but when I got there it was very clear their cross-reference guide was sadly mistaken. What they had would NEVER fit where it needed to!!! So, I decided to follow Steve’s initial suggestion, even though I could have ordered one and waited patiently for it to arrive, parked as we were next to the Florer’s barn.

The lowest cost Bluebird repair EVER!!!

Steve said, “If you are planning to replace it anyway, why not take it apart and see if you can fix it?” A VERY Iowa-practical suggestion.

And this led to the LOWEST COST BLUEBIRD REPAIR EVER!!! It seems there is a rubber “O” ring in this valve, which had gotten square and brittle in 40 years of operation. A new one was obtained from the local hardware store for $1.57, and once installed, the pissing stopped.

Full disclosure…it was extravagantly $1.57 because I bought THREE O-rings…to be sure I had the right one.  Could not justify the gas needed to drive back and return the unused ones. 

Not just dirty, BLUEBIRD DIRTY!

I suppose you could add into that cost the replacement amount for the now grubby-greasy clothes I was wearing, but in truth I have an already soiled set in a bag for just such undertakings.

At the Confluence

While sitting at the Florers, we found some remarkable ways to entertain ourselves.

Besides eating Corn and homemade ice cream every night.

One day we took a bike trail that runs right past the farm and proceeds all the way to downtown Des Moines. About 8 miles one way, thru fields, a fantastic and huge “Waterworks Park” and finally ending at the confluence of the Des Moines and Raccoon Rivers. Where there is a FANTASTIC taproom, called “Confluence,” no doubt just by coincidence!

Before arriving there, we stopped for lunch, where I had a MAMMOTH Pork Tenderloin Sammich, which is sort of a Des Moines speciality. Flattened, breaded (think chicken-fried-steak) and VERY crisply fried. Served with Lettuce, Tomato, Mayonnaise on a nice fresh bun…actually delicious, but not something one would want to do every day. Liz and I actually EARNED (or at least mostly worked off) the beer and grease, having ridden about 20 miles overall.

Not so sure about the Florers, though. They have electric-enabled recumbent trikes – high tech vehicles with a ”turbo-boost” mode that can engaged and used to climb whatever minor hills we ran into… AND to power thru the food-coma!

Microsoft Data Center

And, while we are talking about breaking stereotypes about Iowa==Corn+Hogs, one of the interesting topics that came up was a discussion of the Florer’s nearest neighbors. It seems Microsoft has built a series of data centers virtually across the road. These are BILLIONS of $$$ of infrastructure investment, and look like Prisons, with no name on the front. They have barbed wire (well disguised), big fences in multiple layers and beefy security guards. The only thing incongruous for a prison was the MAMMOTH A/C units (something our recent experience brought to a focus for us) and redundant MAJOR power stations.

Apparently, Microsoft found land and all other costs in Iowa to be a fraction of what it would take to build these in Seattle. And in the process, and at no cost to the area’s residents, improved infrastructure like roads and water and sewer – the brand-new road running past the Florers was built at no cost to anyone (well, maybe a penny or two in the cost of Windows 10). And, Steve said, soon Microsoft will be offering FREE very-high-speed internet to everyone in the area!

Also in the area are a series of sinister, Black-fronted buildings (not beautiful, but at least not looking like prisons) that are a MAJOR Facebook presence. Again, no name on the door so as to not invite protests and terrorism. I am thinking that Des Moines did not realize the power they had over these huge vendors due to the cost structure the area offers. It seems to me they could have required the data centers to be actually APPEALING; not just functional and foreboding.

The only thing these facilities were NOT offering was employment – the mammoth data centers, Steve said, have a total of 9 full-time employees!

Another day the Florers had pizza ordered in while we cooked one from ingredients onboard RV WHERE YET; everyone sat socially-distant in their Daughter’s backyard (which was across the street) to consume them. There I enjoyed the fruits of son-in-law Tommy’s labor. An award-winning amateur brewer, the “left-most tap” on his basement tap wall had a new experiment – “Sour D’oh.” Beer made with yeast obtained from Sourdough Starter (everyone IS making sourdough loaves during the pandemic, right?), the result was unique and DELICIOUS; reminiscent of a Belgian ale.

After all that goodness, the party moved across the street. And by “party” I mean the Florer’s grandkids, Cindy and Liz, to the GIANT CROQUET SET in the field outside the Florer’s house. Hoops and Wickets made from Hula-hoops Fence-posts and using large rubber balls.

John Wayne’s Birthplace, museum and Chochki Store

Yet another day, we had a brief drive to nearby Winterset – birthplace of John Wayne.

Winterset Curmudgeon

And, of course, setting for the “Bridges of Madison County” Movie. Plenty of memorabilia around town…the chair Clint Eastwood Sat in, the diner Meryl Streep ate at, etc. etc. etc.

Madison County Courthouse

Not much happens in Madison County – by design. No big box stores allowed – they like things they way they always were!

One activity not as much appreciated: Liz decided (more than once) that she was going to re-(re-re-)organize our new kitchen cabinets. So, just as I was starting to figure out where things were, suddenly they weren’t anymore! I am resigned to the fact that I will indefinitely at least if not in perpetuity have to open several cabinets to find “the one.”

Genuine Iowa SMUT!

One afternoon, Steve came by the barn where we were parked with an ear of corn in his hand. AT the base was a misshapen mound of greyness that Steve said was “Corn Smut.” Now, I expected a lesson on corn diseases and the biology of these, but what actually happened was MOST unexpected!!!

It seems that “Corn Smut” is actually a DELICACY – way more than merely edible.

Now, to be clear, Steve had never eaten any…he had just heard about this.  And he KNEW I would be surprised that you could find Smut of any kind in wholesome Iowa!!

We researched this on Google (a little surprised Google works so near the Bing-ness that is Microsoft, whose nearby data center sucks more power than the rest of Des Moines). “Huitlacoche” is a Mexican Delicacy, also called “Corn Truffles!” We IMMEDIATELY decided to go through the field in actual search for more!

Finding some, Steve said he had heard you could eat it right off the cob!  I noted he was looking at me, not testing this for himself…but I did, and ultimately he did as well.

Smut-Quesadilla

Not relying only on Google, Steve texted his sort-of-adopted-daughter’s sort-of-fiancé, Esteban, who hails from Juarez, Mexico. Stories about these folks relate back to the Florers’ trips to Africa, but in any case Esteban could actually be heard drooling through the phone…he said, “Make Pico de Gallo, or mix into Guacamole. Maybe a quesadilla with a little chorizo.” We tried several of those, the “Smut” introducing a nutty, earthy taste that was really delicious. And I have a baggie full in the freezer for later appreciation. Suffice to say, VERY INTERESTING.

Bowl O’ Smut!

Also suffice to say, Esteban was MORE THAN WILLING to take the remainder off the Florer’s hands after we filled RV WHERE YET’s tiny freezer.

Iowa Sunset Clouds

After enjoying ANOTHER sunset, I stayed out long enuf to BARELY see the Comet Neowise under the Big Dipper. The sky was not quite as dark as one would wish, in part because of the waxing moon, but also from the kleig lights around the Microsoft Data Center. 

The upcoming Perseid Meteor Shower will be something we can see in a TRUE Dark-sky environment — we’re off to the Badlands!!!

2 thoughts on “Who knew there was SMUT in Iowa!

  • You and your readers may wish to watch or rewatch Music Man set in River City (Mason City) Iowa. Good lines about smut. Great acting and dancing, especially the library scene.

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